India is a country where parents seldom talk about sex (sexual intercourse or about the body) to their children (I don’t know about other countries). Sex is seen as an evil in the sub-continent. Let us also accept the fact that pornography is out there and it’s almost inevitable to come across it. Children are exposed to pornography probably near the ages of 13 to 18. Thus pornography is their first form of sex education. What sort of porn can one come across? Just google keywords like porn, sex videos, xxx videos or something likewise. You’ll be baffled at the results displayed. Almost all of the websites contain ‘hardcore pornography’. According to Wikipedia “Hardcore pornography contains graphic sexual activity and visible penetration” (It’s actually more than that). It is disgusting compared with sexual intercourse.
Let’s talk about pornography. Sex is a beautiful part of human life, but pornography makes it vulgar. Hardcore pornography or most of the porn out there portray women and men having endless sex in unimaginable ways. It displays many things which are not part of sexual intercourse. Simply put, it’s nothing more than rape. Gender discrimination is not alien to this industry, male ego runs through the vein of pornography too. It shows women doing things beyond our wildest imagination, oral sex (which is acceptable and practiced by many couples) is taken beyond boundaries, anal sex, fisting…. The list goes on.
We lack sex education, which takes things to the next level. Teenagers and men (yes it’s mostly the male gender) take it for granted that pornography and sex are one and the same. Naturally, they expect what they see from their partners. Women are abused, men (even boys) want to satisfy their sexual desire, which leads to rapes.
Pornography is a billion dollar industry, supported (indirectly) by ISPs, Search Engines and Telecom Networks. So thinking about cutting off access to children is too late, it’s like a deadly incurable virus. It is available in anyone’s fingertips these days. Of course, several filters can block access to these websites, but the question is, for how long? Won’t He/ She come across it through some means or the other? The sad part of the story being the cold response from the Government, Judiciary and DoT to address this issue. At least they could have stopped people from uploading self-shot or leaked videos (by accident or purpose). It will cost a lot to put a check on these, but I believe it would be worth every single paisa spent.
Sex is not a bad thing, it is a natural phenomenon. So, talking to children about is not bad either (doesn’t mean one has to provide graphic details). They need to know the right thing, they must respect their own bodies, boys (men too) must respect women’s bodies and vice versa. Parents do have limitations when it comes to matters like this. But when faced with a question of “how I was born?” they can to do better than “you came from the belly”. Tell children “you were born because of our love” when they get bigger talk to them about it, let them know that doing what they see in porn can lead to pregnancy. Let girls say “No” to their boyfriends until they think they are ready to do it, or let them do it properly with precautions when they do it. (By no means I’m suggesting that we should have a sex oriented society or highly westernised views or that we should encourage pre-marital sex. Also I’m not of the view that it is a crime to fall in love and chose a mate to share one’s life with). Having a formal form of sex education is the need of the hour (proper use of technology can also be taught). It could possibly save the coming generations. It might stop rapes to a certain level in the coming years. Children must know and realise the ill effects of porn, and what it does to the brain. They must distinguish between right and wrong. We have to check the uncontrolled toll porn takes.
I sincerely hope that Government(s) would take up these issues seriously and do something about it with all due importance it deserves.
(Comments are welcome :) )