Before starting this, I would like to warn you that, the paragraphs or sentences may not have any connection. But it will be still in a readable and understandable form. Please bear with me for my bad usage of English and inaccurate writing style if you intend to read further.
At some point in our lives we tend to hit a brick wall. It feels like there is nothing beyond it. That feeling pulls us apart mentally and emotionally, builds up the feeling of despair. It will haunt you pretty bad. It will make you lazy, distracted, and some tend to put on weight.
In this world we want a lot of things, we want to own many things. My friend has a bigger car, a better motorbike, a better smartphone... Yes, that can be a pressure. We want a good job that pays well, find a good spouse, have a good family life and so on. But it seems like a distant dream. In every country the situation is different, so external factors differ. I intend to look upon those about India in a different article. But still the internal factor is mostly the same.
Every single day is a day of shame, waking up with high spirits, or should I say going to bed the previous day with high spirits, waking up and realising that you still don't feel those high spirits you felt the previous night, so no exercise today, no walking, no reading the newspaper, just sulking in my room not knowing what to do, feeling restrained monetarily and emotionally, feeling let down... Yet you still wake up, have a cup of tea, then you realise you have nowhere else to go, unemployed!
I don't have money, I am ashamed to ask my parents for it, my friends... So what about the new car? That new smartphone? Well that's a distant dream now. Then you feel like reading something or doing something to get yourself a job, the rusted brain gifts us with a high inertia to get up and do it, we prefer the couch mode, its easier to stretch legs and watch television and eat. Who cares? I don't have to pay the Cable Bill, the Electricity Bill, the couch can take my weight...
Choices and the blame game.
Next comes the blame game that develops in our mind, we feed it, we dwell in the past and that adds fuel to the fire and finally we unleash it on someone who cares for us a lot, if you are married, your spouse, else girlfriends/ boyfriends, parents, they all have to cope with your emotional outburst. That's when they finally know you are in a bad state. Instead of doing this we could have gone to them and talked about it, it really would have been less painful for us and them, Yes, we thought we shouldn't trouble others.
Life is full of choices and people, people have different opinion, people share it, But... we can make our choices and go ahead... But we didn't. So we can't blame them for where we landed. We dreamt of landing in the Swiss Alps, but here we are in Guantanamo Bay, it was our plane to fly, not a simulation game to let others use the joystick, we chose to make it a simulation game rather than taking the pain to learn to fly. Humans search for comfort. We are wired that way, but sometimes you need to make the choices on your own.
Then we finally start to walk and move trying to break the inertia but we feel the G Force pulling us back down, yet we manage it somehow, but the cycle ends soon and we are still in neck deep depression. Bailing us out can help, but professional hands are better. Meeting a psychiatrist doesn't mean you are a mental patient. You need help. Some just catch up from there, while some take it in and flush it out, whereas the majority won't go.
So there we stay depressed facing the wall, not knowing what to do, yes we chose bad and we really want to get out of this but we can't, I know that its easy for people to say work hard you are just lazy, but for them I have to say, It is a little bit beyond laziness.
I will be writing the second part soon. Thanks for reading, comments are welcome.
PEACE