Friday, March 6

Aspiring Content Creators: Create More, Consume Less

 This article was published in my WordPress blog on November 16th 2019.

The last time I have posted on my Instagram feed was on 23rd October, which was 22 days ago. A few days before posting that image, my mind got into a glut and built up of utter confusion and chaos due to various things that were bothering me.  Lost in those myriad thoughts and confusion, I went on a small spending spree, but somehow I controlled myself and ended up purchasing things that I actually needed. Instagram seemed to depress me further with lucid posts and wonderful experiences of random people on the internet, which eventually confused me even further; it seemed as if everyone was having a fantastic time and enjoying fantastic experiences. I took a break from Instagram and ended up on another behemoth… YouTube! Most of my focus was on the new go pro 8, the iPhone 11 and motorcycles, after a few days, I started adding on the genre of motivational, inspirational and hustling videos. The hustling videos were the one that had its immediate impact on me; I ended up losing sleep which kept me drained during my office hours. With all this rampant consumption of media and all these thoughts in my head, my sleep quality deteriorated a lot. The second negative impact was that I felt like I needed better gear to produce wonderful content (to show off to the world). I felt the need for a better phone so that I can capture amazing snaps and non-shaky videos whenever I couldn’t pack my heavy DSLR, my 2 year old phone felt like a worthless piece of equipment to me. Which eventually led me to the decision of buying an iPhone 11 or an 11 Pro; it meant that I had to shed out almost INR 60,000 or more. I had a discussion with my friend in the US, who agreed to bring me a phone; the stage was set and I started checking out cases for my new phone. Luckily that is when my rational minded angel asked me “do you really need that phone?” … you know, my wife is just brilliant when it comes to rational decisions like this. Listening to her advice, I thought about it and started researching about the phone and whether I can make do well enough with my current gears’. I found out that I will never be satisfied with the sensor quality of a phone camera because in the back of my mind, the reference point will be always that of a DSLR  and moreover I had a gimbal for my phone which I rarely used.
At this point I started searching for content that was made on devices that were considerably cheaper than what I own, I also came across a lot of videos that sends out a positive message that gear does matter when things become professional, but in the starting stages of your creator journey, it is more than enough to keep creating content with what you currently have in your hand.
Once again I started taking more and more snaps and videos just for the pure joy of it and I seemed to enjoy it. All these photos were captured on my OnePlus 5, which would cost 12000 or 13000 INR on the second hand market now. I never had the intention to share these photos when I took them, but I felt the need to tell this story more and, what better way to do it than to showcase some images I captured. I think the problem with aspiring content creators is that we tend to consume content much more than what we create.
All these snaps were captured in and around Tirupur, Tamil Nadu, India and edited on the phone itself using Snapseed. (Instagram link to the post: https://www.instagram.com/p/B471HR6gumG/)
I really appreciate those of you who have spent some valuable time of yours to read my thoughts. Thank you so much.

On Marriage - My Personal Experience with the Indian Society

Recently I got married to my girlfriend. Only when the both of us were left alone that we felt normal like we used to feel.

Marriages in India are a huge thing, the families are united and there are a lot of functions and rituals. Even though it was considerably minimal in our case, it still made us choke especially my wife. I could feel her uneasiness whenever she was faced with a set of standardized questions and so called “facts of life”. Let me share some of those… what have you cooked after you went to your husband’s home? Did you even prepare a cup of tea for your husband and your in- laws? What sort of dishes do you know to prepare? And the facts went like: “you should take care of your husband”, “you should wash his clothes” and so on. I was disturbed but I was the type who never showed public discord unless my temper gets the best of me; so I was a silent observer to all these madness. I felt helpless, and I understood her helplessness, fatigue and the mental torture she faced. She was highly disturbed and I understood the need to be supportive at this stage rather than becoming angry at her unexplained moody behaviours and tantrums in our only private space for many days – our bedroom. I wondered how it would impact and influence thoughts of a man in case of an arranged marriage having no past experience of knowing each other; the thing that made me wonder so was talks from everyone when we were visiting them; that she doesn’t know how to cook, doesn’t know how to take care of a family and so on. To be honest, it was nothing but a portrayal of how incapable she was, a woman I know to be entirely opposite and how I admired her for being capable of a million things.
Well then let us talk about how people behaved with me; my parents were normal and I was at the comfort of my house. Everywhere else I was like a prince, being fed, taken care of, discussing “manly” things, telling me to make her do things. I was highly uncomfortable as I was raised to wash my own plates, my clothes (of course my Mom used to wash it when I was young, after which it was just orders to wash them), clean my own room or live in a dirty room and so on. I was allowed to prepare food in the kitchen to loiter around in the kitchen and observe the process of cooking, there were days when I would prepare some dish for the family too. Which in turn led me to an interest in cooking, I can say that I would be able to prepare a whole meal for a family or when friends and family come over. Now let me highlight the importance of this background history about me which I just shared. I was shocked to hear from my colleagues and friends that their mothers still do their laundry, the ages of the people I mention here ranges from 25 to 28, I understood that many of my male friends were not allowed into the kitchen saying that it is a woman’s place and cooking is the “duty” of women. I am no psychologist but I don’t need to be one to understand the attitude of these kind of male children when they become men and I believe I don’t have to explain it here.
Suddenly it struck up on me that it was indeed the “prince and the maid” as my wife mentioned earlier and not the fairy-tale version that we read while growing up. This doesn’t mean that only girl children are treated in a different way. Male children are raised in a terrible manner too, the usual words we hear are “don’t cry like a girl, only girls cry”, “don’t run like a girl”, “don’t walk like a girl”, “don’t talk like a girl” and so on, whatever is negative (the word don’t) has been associated with a girl, portraying them mainly as physically and emotionally weak. After a certain age I found it quite amusing as tears would form in my eyes if I see a movie scene where a son and father hugs, yeah talk to me about not crying! I used to cry a lot and it made me emotionally strong rather than weak, there is a magic to crying, with the tears your sadness seems to flow away too. What children observe are their mothers waking up in the morning, making tea, breakfast, and lunch, pack it in boxes etc. and that is irrespective of being a working or non-working mother. Working mothers seems to have no personal time of their own except on holidays, that too for a few hours. A male child sees a woman as the one who does all the household chores, father as the one who decides everything and be authoritative in every aspect. Let me ask you one question, who doesn’t like being a boss, having an authoritative power over other people? That is precisely what a male child learns to become until he starts to think for himself or unless he is not observing the above mentioned trend.
Going into a marriage a man expects a million things from his wife, coupled with that, in case it is an arranged marriage what option does women have? Take a moment and just imagine being in their shoes. Imagine that after marriage you are supposed to stay at her home, you are expected to wake up early, make tea for everyone, do household chores, do your wife’s laundry, iron your wife’s clothes, prepare and pack lunch for your wife and in laws, get ready after that, tell sorry to your wife and family for making them wait because you got ready late, go to work, get exhausted, come back home and prepare tea for everyone, cook and clean the utensils and after everything, when you are tired and you just want to rest no matter what, your wife is lying in the bed demanding to make love and forcing herself on you when you have to do these things the very next day.
Another thing that always amused me were the wife jokes and memes that floats around in our social media. When the woman in question is a man’s mother, she is seen as dignified, provider of love and care, the warmth and so on, as soon as she’s on the other side and is a wife, things just change; she is nagging, short tempered, overly possessive etc… From what I have observed throughout my life so far are women sacrificing their dreams and career so that a man can pursue his. I am in no way saying a man shouldn’t, but if there needs to be some sacrifice, shouldn’t there be a balanced approach to that too.
I for one want these to change and I strongly believe there are a lot of people who are on the same boat as I am. In my opinion, for these to change each one of us have to change so that the next generation can visualize and learn from us, at home let the husband and wife share the work, let your children (both male & female) get involved in activities, tell your children to clean their rooms even if you have a maid, tell them to clean the dishes they use. Teach them how to wash clothes, to help in cooking, cleaning and household chores. Let your children observe and learn that a husband and wife are sharing equal responsibilities in a household.
I would also like to add on that it is quite easy to give your smartphone/ tablet/ computer to your young ones so that they won’t demand too much attention from you. When they demand phones, put it away and go play with them, play board games with them, read books to them, just repeat what our parents did to us in this aspect. A particular emphasis on this point is required as the content on the internet and television is just nothing short of trash these days (I don’t deny that there is good content but a major chunk of today’s entertainment shows/ cartoons/ videos are too stereotypical and short sighted). Above all, let your children know how to be a good human being, because that is not something good grades and rich lifestyle alone can fetch.